13 October 2011

Stress: The Natural Hallucinogen

The hippies really could have found better drugs. I'd like to say that grad school is probably the most effective hallucinogen out there. I'll grant that drugs are probably cheaper in the long run, but who needs LSD when you can get totally trippin' dreams the natural way? And for the double bonus: "Grad student" is a more socially acceptable title than "hippie."

Gettin' my kicks the natural way,

Erin

01 September 2011

Dear Sam Adams,

You are most definitely my favorite Founding Father.

Cheers,

Erin

05 July 2011

In Memoriam


Croquet
Beloved Hedgehog and Friend
July 5, 2011
Until We Meet Again...
Requiescat in Pace

23 June 2011

On the Purpose of Blogs

"Purpose it's that little flame that lights a fire under your ass." --Brian in Avenue Q

In a general sense, I like blogs with a purpose. Some of my favorite blogs to visit have a very narrow content range, and to be perfectly frank, I like that. I like to know that when I check DulceCandy87's blog that she'll be talking about fashion or that Tuesday Morning Sketches will provide me with a new paper crafting sketch every Tuesday morning.

But right now I'm feeling a bit...purpose-less.

What does this blog do? I'm not really sure.

Back in February when I first created this blog, I thought it would be to share "the random funnies that fall out of my brain."

I have since discovered that I'm not very funny. I have a great new sympathy for comedians because being funny is hard. I don't think I'm quite cut out for it.

So what will this blog become? I don't really know. I don't have any fires under my ass, but I'll be sure to fill you in when I do.

--Erin

14 June 2011

The One Where She Says Something Shocking...

Some days, I really hate being a woman.

I hate all the "June Cleaver" societal expectations that constantly bombard me. I hate that I have to simultaneously be kind and gentle and ravishingly beautiful because, to be quite honest, I'm none of those things. I hate that being a woman is so inextricably intertwined with being a wife and mother.

Why? The answer is simple.

I hate babies.

Ok, maybe "hate" is a bit of a strong word. But I certainly don't like them. Very much.

"What brings about this strange and strong assertion?" you may ask. Well, I'll tell you.

I don't know if you have noticed, but the whole world seems to have gone baby crazy. The world glorifies large families (just turn on TLC for a couple hours or put a baby in the middle of a group of post-menopausal women to see what I mean), and people who don't like children (like me) are considered "screwed up" by societal standards. Somehow, we're just not right.

Don't get me wrong, I've gone through the whole "I want a baby" stage. I was also five, had no idea what it meant to make let alone raise a child, and I was seeking "unconditional love." Somehow, I was blissfully unaware that I already had this from my own parents and that having children in no way guaranteed that your offspring would actually like you.

What can I say? I was five and ignorant, just as five-year-olds should be regarding such things. This was the time I also said that I wanted to live next door to my parents forever. Let's just say I've grow out of both of those phases.

My love affair with babies ended when I was nine years old and my nephew peed on me. If that isn't enough to disillusion a starry-eyed adolescent, I don't know what is.

At about the age of 13 I decided that I wasn't interested in having children. None of my older female family members supported me. In dulcet tones they would impart their "wisdom" upon me with phrases like, "It's different when they're yours," "Just give it a few years, you'll change your mind," and my personal favorite, "I thought the same thing, once, but just look at me now!" And when I did take a good, hard look at those women, I was horrified. They were once strong, independent women with educational and career goals, but no more. They had to put their dreams on hold to raise their children, and somehow they forgot who they were in the process.

Much like my female family members, I have a vision for my life. I want to get a PhD. I want to travel. I would like to live in Dublin for a few years. The vision that I have of my life doesn't suddenly stop when I turn 25, 30, 35 just so I can have kids. I can't just pack up a family of four on a whim. Let's face it, kids get in the way.

Call me selfish if you like, it's probably true. But that's the beauty of being a woman in 2011. I get to choose. I may be expected to have kids, but in the end, it's my decision. Despite my mother-in-law saying she'll only "give" me five years to produce a grandchild, she doesn't get to choose. I do.

And that is why I really love being a woman.

08 June 2011

Ok, I Admit It...

...I'm a bad blogger. Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies as to the reason why, because frankly, I don't really know.

Well, actually, maybe that was a lie. I do know.

I know what I like to read in blogs, but I haven't the faintest idea what might interest anyone else. So to my three (!) followers, any suggestions would be welcomed.

For now, I think I will content myself with suggesting a few blogs that I enjoy.

First, Lynn Caldwell at A Grammar of Chaos (http://grammarofchaos.blogspot.com/). Lynn is an absolute maven of rhetoric and has created a series of blog posts which introduce classical rhetoric in a very fun way. She shows that rhetoric is not scary, and even Aristotle is alive and well in the modern world. I keep hoping she'll throw in some Kenneth Burke eventually (cough hint cough).

Second, John H. Carroll at The World of Ryallon (http://ryallon.blogspot.com/). I came across John's blog very recently when I downloaded one of his short stories for my Kindle. Who wouldn't be attracted by a story called "The Emo Bunny that Should, A Story for Demented Children"? Well, suffice it to say that the story is awesome, and his latest blog post tells the story of how Emo came into being. I am hooked, and you should be, too!

And finally, Allie at Hyperbole and a Half (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/). Allie creates comics which are so hilarious that I have literally laughed so hard I cried. Her blogging is a bit sporadic at the moment because she is in the process of writing a book, but I suppose we must forgive her for that. I would recommend The Party, Texas, and Wolves. I feel that I must warn you, if you read this blog you will most likely become addicted. There, consider yourself forewarned.

--Erin

P.S.-- I solemnly swear to be a better blogger. ...I'll see what I can do.

16 March 2011

Dear Subway,

It was completely unnecessary of you to wrap both halves of my sandwich seperately. Yes I realize it is a footlong. Yes, I realize it could easily feed two people. Yes, I realize I should probably save the other half. But let's face it, I won't.

Therefore, it was foolish and wasteful of you to wrap both halves seperately. Not only did you kill an extra tree, I am forced to exert more energy to unwrap my supposedly "healthy" sandwich. That was the purpose of visiting you, Subway. The "healthier" I eat, the less I have to feel bad for my lack of physical exertion. Had I stopped at McDonald's and ordered two McDoubles, I would have willingly burned the extra calories of unwrapping both sandwiches, but I did not go to McDonald's. I went to Subway. And you wasted my time and energy. And killed a tree in the process.

Shame on you, Subway. Shame on you.

--Erin

21 February 2011

Welcome to My Brain!

Hello Friends!

I created this blog as a sister site for my craft blog, Designs by Erin at erinscraftblog.blogspot.com.

I wanted to have a place to share the random funnies that occasionally flit across my brain and to follow non-craft-related blogs. Yay!

As soon as one of those randoms come along, I promise to share!

--Erin